When our voices blend, I get goosebumps. It's trully beautiful. Perfection. Why is it so different when the music fades, I wonder.
Without the music, it is empty. There is no passion or beauty. It's not meant to be, this I know.
So why is it still sad everytime our voices meet?
A few months ago I looked over my life and decided that it was well. I had a car, my job didn't suck so much and there were no secrets or lies. Not to mention Uncle Wandile - That was coming together nicely. It felt like things were falling into place. And then they just shifted....
I was in a car accidant on my birthday, a cherry on top of an already disappointing day. This birthday was the first that I didn't take seriously, that I didn't really look forward to. And since then, things have in a way spiralled.
1Timothy 6 speaks of being content and not being concerned about material riches. After the accident, my body kinda went out of control too. I didn't understand what was happening so in turn I curled into a ball waiting for everything to go back to how it was. But see I have a hand in how my world goes back to normal. I don't get my car back by staying in bed all week. Plus 1 Timothy says to be content always. Now staying in bed is not done by people who are satisfied with their circumstances. Staying in bed is for those who are sulking. Those who throw their toys out the cot hoping God will fix everything so that they can be happy again.
It's really hard but Im gonna work at it. Being content means rolling with the punches, adjusting to the change in circumstances. Living despite all the crap. This won't get me down. I will rise above this too.
I breathed a sigh of satisfaction and smiled to myself as I placed the last wet plate on the rack to dry. It has been almost two weeks now and I thought I was doing well on the domestic plight to be the proverbs 31 woman. But reality is not so positive.
You see the virtuous woman of Proverbs 31 has really encouraged me to step up the way I think and the things that I do in my life. This woman does not need to be a wife in order to be all these things. After all, if you can't look after your house and pay the bills as a single woman, how are you gonna do it in a marriage?
As I consider all these things and think about my walk in this road, I glance over at my flatmate with guilt... while I eagerly arise with my alarm in the morning and strive to be this woman, am I not hindering her from being her too? How do I behave in such a way as to encourage the same desire in her?
This is trully something to chew on, because I cannot grow and leave others behind.... It renders the virtuous woman redundant
What does it mean to move on from a hurt that has been inflicted on you? I've been told that I don't do this. I've been told that I dig the hurt up and throw it back at people.
Yes, I suppose I do. But we forget one thing. When you hurt someone, you scar them and that hurt changes your emotional features and how you see yourself and what you feel you deserve. You can forgive and be in right standing with someone but at the first sign of betrayal -even if it's a false alarm - the hurt comes pouring back afresh leaving you wondering how you ever thought you had "moved on". It boils down to remembering that pain and running away from ever feeling it again even if it means going on an angry rampage to chase the preditor away.
I feel I have moved on, but being treated the way I was before triggers that hurt again. and whether you like it or not I will always look over my shoulder hoping you won't deal that same blow again.
Every Tuesday Shikisha hosts what they call the Homegrown Live Sessions. Some sessions are bigger than others depending on the band being hosted. On this particular night, our sights were set on the bands Uju and The Fridge.
Uju is unfamiliar to me. One could describe their sound as a rough, edgy amalgamation of emotions. From the lead singer's booming, bold voice to the dramatic drumming, these guys really seek to have you sitting up straight from the word go with their music and more than occassional poetic outbursts. The Uju experience can only be described as spontanious.
The Fridge. This three piece band has compelled me to go on some of my greatest adventures into the heart of Joburg. Adventures that have made me fall deeper in love with the City of Gold and with music itself.
From the very first time I heard Samthing Soweto, lead singer of The Fridge sing, I was mesmerised. His voice to me created the imagery of the ripples formed when pouring syrup - yes, syrup! His voice is a combination of control and playful spontinaity. Muthusi, the band's bass guitar and rhythm guitar player has often declared himself a lover of the jazz chords. When playing live he spends more time on the bass guitar while the 6 string is saved for the more intimate songs, but I have often had to physically count the strings to make sure it is in fact a bass being played because he sometimes rocks out full chords on it! Ade, the drummer is never satisfied with the simple beats often toying around with the rims of his snare and tom toms. I am yet to hear a drummer that is as descreetly prominant as he.
I'm learning very quickly that Joburg is alive with the sound of music. All you need to do is find the particular music that you love and then just follow it!
Remember those nights out that you just never look forward to, but once you drag yourself out of the house, that night goes down in your personal history as one of the best nights ever? Well, Sunday was such a night for me. My bestie demanded a night out in Soweto for a belated birthday celebration. I knew I wouldn't hear the end of it if I said no so I threw on my old All Stars and dragged myself out - did I get the surprise of my life!!
Ask any HIP HOP lover that lives in the south of Joburg what Authentic Sunday is and they'll tell you. In Soweto, behind Bara Taxi Rank lies hidden The Zone 6 venue. This company that calls themselves Authentic Sundays hires the place out on a quarterly basis to host an event by the same name. It is fondly described as "Soweto's biggest freshest hangout session."
Authentic Sundays is a group of creatives and marketing graduates whose main objective in having Authentic Sundays is to bring to the Sowetans the party that many of them travel to the North for.
I'm not much of a "HIP HOPPER" myself but as I look around at this setting that is completely new to me, nobody here cares about my awkwardness. As long as drink is in hand, friends are at arms reach and HIP HOP is blaring in the open plan venue, everyone is happy. It might as well be Friday night and not Sunday afternoon. Cameras are flashing from cellphones to digital cameras to the photo booth that is complete with props for those crazy photo's! Promotional girls (where are the boys?) are everywhere promoting - well everything and soon after the fire works ( "How did City Counsel agree to that?" my friend wonders out loud!) people will make their way into the main venue for the dj's and later whatever popular group has been hired.
Mean words that people speak into our lives often help us to rise above them. They make us stronger and better and encourage us to succeed.
I have a cousin who had a bit of a mean streak when we were growing up. We bought a TV because she used to tease me for not having one at our house. "When will we have our own TV mama?" I would ask my mom after every taunting session with my cousin. I asked the same after a torrent of comments about not having a home. My mom later told me that her unkind words are what compelled her to buy our first TV and later our house....
Growing up, this question never died down, I just learned to keep it to myself and not to burden others with it. When will it be my turn? Now as I watch things I've wanted for so long come to me as naturally as breathing, I feel like standing on a rooftop and shouting "This is my time! It's finally here!" It's a dumbstruck feeling to realise that your cries in the middle of the night were heard and answered just when I thought I was unworthy.....
Malibongwe igama lakho....
