Today is the last day of school. For the first time in a week I didn't wake up feeling like jumping off a bridge. It was a relief but also very strange, because when you are not happy, but you're not in pain, what is left, but rubble, really? I made my bed and picked up the clothes from my floor for the first time in over a week. I didn't know what to wear today and didn't care to put any care in my appearance so I threw on a pair of skinny jeans - since our new boss is going to be doing away with those next term- and my trusted old sweater and a pair of pumps. I didn't bother with make up and I combed my hair back into a bun the cherry on top being the absent colourful ring on my right middle finger. Today, I resolved, would be a naked day.
So I walk past one of the ladies at work that always has a compliment for me, be it my skirt or hair any general compliment about my beauty and she says to me, " Ya, now this is a woman who knows what she is about! You look so good today!" I was taken aback. This woman has no idea what my heart and mind are chewing on right now. She has no idea how lost I feel and how I am literally just going through the motions, yet she sees in me someone who has it together. How is that even possible?!
So I guess life for me has become very very complicated. I've experienced that people who see themselves as good do not necessarily do good all the time. People who are strong can be put to the ground by circumstances. And people who are not easily shaken can crumble. None of these circumstances make them less good or strong or levelheaded. It makes them human.
I don't wish any of my pain on my worst enemy. No one deserves to be hurt that way. But I do wish that when one makes a decision, always always, they should bare in mind that though we are strong,we have moments of weaknesses and that getting back to being strong is not an easy process. Strength is not the absence of weakness... Be kind to one another always.