Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Same Person, Different Day

My friend started ignoring me - Or at least that's how I saw it. For two weeks my calls were not returned. I was crushed. Heartbroken. In total dispair. How dramatic!

Eventually, we had an unpleasant conversation. He said he wasn't ignoring my calls - he merely didn't respond to them. Oh right! Because  there is a difference?! I angrily hung up the phone. He was hurt!The thought that I thought so lowly of him hurt him as deeply as him not returning my calls hurt me. Here's his theory

"Nolo, the same guy that bought you cake and came to check on you the day after your simultaneous birthday and accident is the same guy that didn't pick up your calls. Why can't you see the best in me even when I do my worst?"I was silenced. I didn't know how to respond.

See, I know myself to be very consistant in relationships of all kinds. I will never tire of talking to you even when I am in my deepest abyss. You can always count on me to come through for you. Always. It is only when you take me for granted that I lossen my grip. To me, the person I appreciate becomes seperate from the person who is hurting me now. How can they possibly be the same? It's like a rendition of Tamia's "Stranger in My House"

You see, you are teaching me that I love you too much and that I am so commited to you that it smothers you.Smothers you! You are teaching me to stay far far away from you. And my consistancy changes. You can garantee that I won't go all out for you. I will tire of you in order to keep myself safe from harm.

So right now, I feel like an animal who has been beaten and trained into submission. Now I stay away because you have trained me. While you toy around with those who are ready to love you, remember never to push a loyal person to the point where they just don't care anymore, because they will stop caring and you will not get that care back.

No comments:

Post a Comment