Monday, December 17, 2012

Here's to the Parking Lot Pies

Well this past weekend was certainly not planned, but in many ways it was perfect.

By this time of the year, I'm usually home for the holidays with my family but because of family I had to wait and in the end, plans failed and I had to find my own way home. I ran the risk of a weekend spent idling. Fate would not have that!

Friday night was spent watching one of my favorite bands play. We received VIP treatment from the friendly and somewhat suspect drummer who bought us our first round of drinks, engaged us in amusing conversation and dragged us to the band's corner where we danced to some funky beats while eagerly awaiting The Fridge's performance.  When they finally came on, I was so close to the lead singer, I could carefully analyse the beads of sweat pouring down his face and breathe in what he breathed out. If you are afraid of small spaces, this little bar in the heart of Joburg's CBD is not for you!

Saturday, thanks to my bonus coming in, was spent in a shopping mall full of christmas shoppers - my least favorite pass time. Due to several oversights, we ended up in the mall parking lot gobbling down pies and waiting for the summer storm to die down so we could drive home without getting soaked. While the girls made dinner, the boys tackled the bits of wood they sell you under the guise of a TV stand. I don't know how we ate our dinner, we were so bushed.

Sunday was church, which was followed by a surprise lunch with a friend. We went to the same shopping mall as the one our pastor and pretty much the whole church just happened to go to after the service. Need I elaborate on the curious looks we got from them as they passed us by while we innocently dined together? We  have a bit of a cupid in all of us!

Today was a public holiday and in the name of December, we got in the car and drove to Pretoria where we briefly reminisced about varsity days gone by and for some quality time with friends and family. Nothing wild but a day well spent!

This weekend has taught me two things; a) I NEED a car! b) Spontineity is the key to a time well spent! It's often best to throw caution to the wind and let the chips fall where they may. This is how great stories come about.

Friday, December 14, 2012


I am a music fanatic! But I've never had the ability to produce heartbreakingly beautiful music despite my love for the art. Every once in a while I stumble upon someone who blows me away musically. Today it happens to be Christina Perri.

I first heard of her on "So You Think You Can Dance" where they used her song "Jar of Hearts" then she blew me away again when I watched The Twilight Saga and "A Thousand years" came into my life. What beauty! I cried. Because of the melody, because of the lyrics. It all came pouring over me and I was overwhelmed. I have  visions of myself walking down the aisle with this song....
I've always admired people who've had the ability to make time stand still with their music. Those songs that can make you feel indescribable pain and overwhelming joy all at once. The kind of song that leaves you speechless.... This song is the one....

Check out Christina Perri on her website or follow her on twitter @christinaperri

Thursday, December 13, 2012


We all need that one person in our lives who sometimes drops knowledge so big that you have no choice but to re - evaluate your life or even change it completely. I have one of those and here's some knowledge he dropped...

The relationships that are best for us are the ones where we only give things we can afford to lose. If you can afford to lose that thing be it your point of view or your time, there is no fear of losing that person and ultimately you will not lose them from your life as a result of trying to hold on so tightly to them.

The people we struggle to let go of are those who have our most treasured possessions. Our pride, our respect, our confidence or our hearts. If they leave with that, we are left depleted and so we hold on to them for dear life.

He is my surrogate. We need each other because life has disillusioned us yet we still stand and believe in love. It's a relief to know this, but it makes me want to hold on to him. but holding on is how we lose people because that clasp often turns into a cage in which we trap those we love.

You wanna hold on to someone? Then let them go. Don't smother them. They will run. Give them only what you can afford to lose and they will stay...

Sunday, December 9, 2012

Starting Over

Hi, I'm Nolo. I am a 27 year old black woman who teaches English in high school. I enjoy music, talking and sharing my life with people. I give way too much of myself which is something I've always liked about myself.... I've seen and done  many things in my life, all of which have changed me dramatically. This is an attempt at starting over.

I sometimes wish that I could go back in time and do things differently, but this is unrealistic. There is no going back. Yearning for the past is futile. Life moves forward and the only good looking back brings is to equipp you for a better tomorrow.

A better tomorrow. What does that even mean? For me, tomorrow is better because I am wiser than I was yesterday. My blunders teach me how to do it better next time; it makes me stronger. Starting over therefore does not mean forgetting yesterday or trying to be who I was back then, but recognising and accepting the differences yesterday brought and continuing to move.

And so here I am; starting over. Starting from scratch. Rebuilding on a foundation that I hope is wisdom. Hoping for a house that is better than the one I was in before.

Friday, December 7, 2012


I've never been very good at relationships and as a result, They have never lasted very long....

But this one looked promising. We were both so hopeful. Then it happened. It was  completely out of both of our control. There's nothing to blame but fate. And now it's gone. It's often easier to blame something, but this was purely circumstance. It took us 5 years to get past coldplay, It'll take a lifetime for this to pass too and there's nothing I can do about it.....

Such is life...

Monday, November 12, 2012

It's Donne!

I found this treasure today. My friend took John Donne's The Good -Morrow and turned it into beautiful modern words. Listen...

I wonder my love, what you and I did till we fell in love? Were we children? Did we play childishly? Or did we party up a storm? It was like this, but these were all temporary pleasures. If I ever saw any beauty, which I desired, and got, was a dream of you.

And now good day to our waking souls, which aren't afraid of love, because love, love turned every little room into an everywhere. Let sea explorers go to new worlds, let maps showing other worlds, show them, but let us possess one world, our own, where I am half of it and you, another

My face in your eye appears and yours in mine as well, and true plain hearts rest in each other's faces. Where can we find two better hemispheres that are better suited? Whatever differences we have, if we have the same love or even if we love so alike that if not one of us slacken in love, not one of our loves can die.

*enough said*

Saturday, November 10, 2012


So there I was;In the shower, music in the background, minding my own business when the opening rift came drifting to my ears and I couldn't skip it as I usually do. I had to listen... It made me sad....

There was a time when I loved that song. The chord progression and the singer's rough voice got me everytime. But I'd made memories to it now, memories I can never have again. Hearing that song was a reminder of that. Then it occurred to me how much we miss out on. I'd been missing out on good music because it hurts to go back there. How much more have I been missing out on because I havn't been brave enough to go through the pain and get to the other side?

But this is life. It is beautiful, excrutiating, exciting, dangerous. If we only experience the goodness in life, can we really say we've lived it to the full? So I say embrace it all even though we want only the good. Take the bad too, feel it and then move on to better things. Goodness knows that those better things would not feel better if it were not for the bad things.

Saturday, October 27, 2012

Freshly Baked

When I bought The Muffinz debut album "Have You Heard?" it was for one song only; "Soundcheck".

For the past 3 months that would be the song I would put on repeat. I was barely interested in any of the other tracks. They were pleasant enough but I gave them very little of my attention- until tonight...

I like listening to music when I'm emmersed in something else. I pick up on much more of its beauty that way. So tonight,as I watched my wall change colour, I fell in love with all The Muffinz. The pretty harmonies in "Come With Me", the funky rift in "Soldierz" that makes my fingers tingle for my own guitar and the emotional ramblings of the Keke Lingo which still has me wondering what is being sung despite knowing that there is no translation. Not to mention the Shona verse in "Khumbul 'Ekhaya" ( at least I can learn the meaning of this beautiful melody) I could go on and on and on but you get the idea :)

All I can say about this album is that it's getting increasingly harder to  put any of these songs on repeat. From the rocky guitar rift mixed with skatting in "Have you Heard?"  to "The Next Super Man" that begs your hips to jazz, right up to the soothing sounds of "Umsebenzi Wendoda" each song that ends promises the beginning of a new song with new aspects that will captivate you.

Friday, October 26, 2012


I'm blogging from a PC for the first time in almost 2 years - how nostalgic!

This takes me back to the days when I had nothing to do with my day but recreate my blog template, chat on google and facebook between 12 and 2 pm. Life was so much simpler and frustrating back then and so much has changed... I have changed - I wanna go back. But I shouldn't go back. The things that have happened in my life have been mainly my doing and many of them could have been avoided, but crying over spilled milk doesn't unspill it; it has just makes me bitter.

And so I look forward and I move forward. Very aware of where I've been and with no idea what lies ahead. What I do know though is that if I stay here, I will die...

Sunday, October 21, 2012

Sleepless in my bed

I've said it before; my mind is a dark neighbourhood I should stay away from. It only takes one thought and next thing I know, I'm waist deep in mud...

Half the things I think about are deep, but mixed with so much crap that there is very little clarity. I'm starting to think that these outlets actually induce the negative musings. It's not so bad when I really put my mind to something that takes my concetration.

A few weeks ago, I watched him get emmersed in a 6 string... He played for hours though his eyes were heavy with the need to sleep. I envied him because in those hours, no negativity could get to him. He was untouchable... Give me some of that! It's better than any drug or fermented fruit and it stays with you long after you stop...

So I'm gonna find me some and lose myself in it.... I'm going to be untouchable too...

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Me and my big mouth

I like being open about things. It's often dangerous to ask too many questions. Often you start something that ends in disaster, but is ignorance really bliss when there are things going on that make you look foolish?

I think it's better to know. But once you know, make the right move for your own safety and sanity...

Saturday, September 1, 2012

Get a Life

Last night I did what I always do at the end of a school day. I came home, took off my bottoms and climbed into bed. Then it occurred to me - It is the eve of spring and I'm lying in bed and life is passing me by... How sad have I become?

So I made a decision. I'm gonna get a life. I'm gonna spend time with my friends who have always seen beauty in me and are now pleasantly suprised to see it displayed. I'm gonna take pretty pictures and write about them because this is one of the things that makes me happy. I 'm gonna read Romeo and Juliet and set the best lessons I can because when the penny drops for them, I get goosebumps. I'm gonna sing along to my favorite music and sometimes even jam to it. The list is endless!

It's a new season and it calls for one thing only - for me to GET A LIFE!

Saturday, August 11, 2012

Be Selfish With Your Happiness

I read this on a friend of mine's tatoo. It was one of those "of course" moments when something seems so obvious. Little did I know...

This morning, I find myself with a dilemma. I have to make a decision that's going to directly affect me and what is my first instinct? To ask what I should do. What the hell for when this is my happiness on the line? Why do I need someone else's permission to be happy or unhappy? Why do I give people that kind of power over me?

So here is the resolution. I'm not going to wait for someone else to make me happy. I will make the decision that is best for me and I won't wait for them... Resolved.

Monday, July 2, 2012

Home sweet home

I've become a visitor at my home. I'm very aware of how different my mother's how is. Less spacious than mine even though it's actually bigger -there's just more walls.

But this is all part of growing up..

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Marching On

You know what, as much as this experience has hurt me and changed me, I'm still the same girl. I still have so much to be proud of. I loved another with my whole heart and had that love returned - something I've always dreamed of and desired.How many people can say that,really?
In many ways, my dream came true...

Sunday, June 17, 2012


Why do the right decisions hurt so badly? I mean if this is the right thing,surely I would feel some element of relief that it's over and  that I can move on...

And why does it feel like I'm moving on to nothing? This isn't right. None of it is, but all I can do is try to heal somehow.

I don't know what the future holds. I don't think I want to know....

Saturday, June 9, 2012


I've been wracking my brain for months now. I've been suspecting that the love that I have is selfish. I've been loving because I was loved first. That's selfish, because what  happens when you are not loved anymore?

So I've been doing the noble thing;finding reasons that had nothing to do with me - "because you're sweet and funny"- that kind of thing.

But then it hit me. He accepts me for  who I am,not the person he wants me to be. In fact, he wants me to be the person that I already am. How amazing a person is that?!

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Without a Trace

“Hold on honey.
We've got forever to taste.
Speed up sugar.
Don't forget our friend Fate
It could disappear without a trace.” - The Parlotones

Any human relationship is fluid – no, fragile, almost brittle - because it deals with human beings
and human beings are somewhat unpredictable. When you find yourself in something that beautiful,
your heart is in constant turmoil. There are parts of you that want to take in all the beauty – but
essentially you are just sucking the life out of this beautiful thing. After a while that beauty is no
longer. So we try to savor it- make it last longer - but there is the danger of deterioration and that
beauty collecting dust and coming to an eventual end. And so we sit on this sea-saw hoping that
rushing things won't ruin it and savoring it won't spoil its sweetness...

It helps to remember that you are not alone in it though. The turmoil is not yours alone, but there is
another heart involved and somehow between the two, a sort of equilibrium is reached – hopefully...

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Just Keep Swimming

Excellence is the gradual result of always striving to do better - so says Pat Riley.

I don't like struggling. To me it is the same as failure because you are not succeeding; you are still trying to. but in this constant strife, you find yourself getting better without even realising it... That's been my experience lately. I feel more equipped for so many things since last year and the only way that Happened was through struggling and getting frustrated at my weaknesses.

These are the things that make us better.... So I guess the only way to get even better than I am now is to continue to struggling as I am now. It is, after all for my own good...

Peace and Lovely Things

I used to think of myself as a happy person. Mostly because I'm generally always in a good mood. I talk a lot, make lots of jokes, but until now, I was never happy.

The kind of happy I'm talking about isn't the fleeting feeling that results from a good song or a compliment. It's a state of mind, I think. It's like reaching the summit after a long climb - a sense of all being right in the world. When that shift happens in your life, it doesn't matter what goes wrong or right everywhere else in your life because you are grounded and none of it can sway you....

So there you have it! I am no longer a happy person. Rather, I am simply happy.

Monday, January 16, 2012

My Little Nest

I have a new neighbour who is building her little home in the tree in my backyard. She caught my eye yesterday as she put her little nest together and I realised how much I related to her. Not so long ago I too was doing almost the same thing. My new neighbour is a bird by the way.....

It's funny how the homes we live in as adults are a spin off of the homes we grew up in. there are those who think of our childhood homes and want something better. They're homes are completely different. The rest of us, however do the opposite; either way, it's a spin off. When my flatmate Charity moved out of the cottage we were sharing I was left with an empty two bedroom cottage with very little in it. All I had was a chest of drawers, a bookshelf, a sleeper-couch handed down to me by my friend Lian and some other odds and ends. My house was empty and I was faced with the daunting thought of decorating it as I saw fit. Now, four months later, I look at my little nest and I chuckle to myself. My house is so much like the one I left at home. The colour scheme is brown and beige, just like at home and just last week, I bought a beige rug not unlike the new one I saw at home when I was there over Christmas! We spend so much of our teenage years yearning to have our own homes with our own rules and what to we do the moment we start our new homes? Passively rebuild the very same homes we were trying to break out of....

Now that is what I call irony! Life is just like that I guess :)