Tuesday, August 17, 2010

A Real Boyfriend?

So today I got this chain email (chain emails; grrrr!) titled "A real boyfriend". The funny thing about this email is that it describes all the things every girl would like her boyfriend/husband to do and all the things every girl wishes he would be; it's amazing! But the further down the list I read ( it was quiet a long list) the more I realised how selfish women are.

Let me give you a rough idea of  this "real boyfriend" list:

When she's quiet

Ask her what's wrong
When she ignores you
Give her your attention
When she pulls away
Pull her back....

Some parts of this chain email ( chain emails; grrr!) had the girl in me shouting, " Yes! that's exactly what I need from him when I do that!" But the other side of me, I think that's the voice of reason or something with with similar wisdom thinks, " Wait a minute; how selfish is this girl who goes into a relationship with all these insecurities, but expects a  perfect man with no insecturities of his own?" That really got my mind working. I mean, when I read all the stuff that she does, I realise that I do those same things when I'm feeling insecure and the stuff that he does in reaction to them; that stuff is different forms of reassurance. It's like the girl in this scenario is a raging tornado of insecurity and low self esteem while the guy is expected to be the quiet, confident knight-in-shining-armour type that's come to fix you.

But that's unfair! We all have insecurities and fears about ourselves, don't we? So then shouldn't we be heroes to  each other? I mean there are things that I will expect and often need from my man one day, but I want him to need me too. I don't want a flat, perfect character of a man that is just there to give, give and give the whole time; I want to be needed too. I also want to be a knight in shining armour to my man ( I think I just threw up a bit of Stacie Elderidge's Captivating ! )  So as much as I would love a man who is as attentive to my needs as this chain email ( chain emails; grrr!) man is, I'd also like him to be less...."Prince Charming, the Flawless One" so that I can have some hero scenes to play out where I am the hero. I think that's a good selfish don't you?

Friday, August 6, 2010

Ramblings Of A Bored Banker

On days like today, when I'm bored out of my mind and there is absolutely nohting to keep me occupied, I find that my mind wonders to all sorts of crazy places.

My head is an unpleasant place to be in when I'm having the day that I'm having.I think that's why I want to move; so I won't have a  second to myself or my thoughts, because once my mind starts to wonder, there's no stopping it. It has a mind of its own! I've also realised what has made me even more bored in the place that I'm in right now. My work is not challenging. It does not push me to go distances i've never thought possible for me. I don't find myself panicking when at faced with the possibility of failure only to be met with the excitement of success and knowing that I can  do it!

But I'm going to try. Try to wait for my name to be called; for the moment when I'll be given the opportunity to show the world that I can catch whatever it throws at me!

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Bring on the Heat

I've never been able to choose which season I liked more; summer or winter.When forced to decide I would always use the I'm-a-child-of-divorce-please-don't-make-me-choose line and that usually got me off the hook, but if it didn't work I would then pick winter,  because I'm a Winter baby

When I look back on the past year or 2 I realise how much growing up I've done. I've never really been comfortable in my own skin so I was never comfortable to show it off. I prefered winter because I could put more layers on and not have to worry about celulite and stretch marks because they would all be covered. But lately I've realised that I'm coming to terms with the way I look and have become more comfortable in boob-tubes and similarly revealing clothes. When I really realised that I love summer though, was when August hit and I found myself  looking forward to the Spring.

I look foward to wearing my yellow and whited striped boob tube. I look forward to sitting outside until 9 at night because it is unbearibly hot indoors. I look forward to wearing sunglasses that make me look like the coolest insect ever! I'm excited about ice-cream dates, and buying ice trays in bulk to keep up with how much ice is being used! I look forward to the smell of freshly cut grass and seeing a million different shades of green and mozzy bites and wishing my bedroom wasn't so darn hot. There; I've decided that I love summer. Bring on the heat!

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Big City Life

I spent the last week in Johannesburg and Pretoria. I was there to visit some University friends. I haven't had that much fun in a long time ( probably since the last time I was there did I have so much fun)

I know alot of people who say they hate the big city life for all its chaos, but I love it! I love the hum; the fact that you never have a dull moment there. I love being so busy that I  find myself longing  for a moment alone with my thoughts. Those were the best of times for me. It was during those times when I enjoyed stretching out on my bed and staring at the ceiling thinking about....... nothing and loving it because I never had many oportunities to do so.Most of all I miss my friends. I miss  having them in my life and being in their lives, because let's face it; there's only so much facebook can do to keep you in touch!

It's ok though, I'm not sad. I know that the day will come when I will finally get to live the life that I want to live where I want to live it. I look to that day with anticipation and excitement!