Tuesday, August 17, 2010

A Real Boyfriend?

So today I got this chain email (chain emails; grrrr!) titled "A real boyfriend". The funny thing about this email is that it describes all the things every girl would like her boyfriend/husband to do and all the things every girl wishes he would be; it's amazing! But the further down the list I read ( it was quiet a long list) the more I realised how selfish women are.

Let me give you a rough idea of  this "real boyfriend" list:

When she's quiet

Ask her what's wrong
When she ignores you
Give her your attention
When she pulls away
Pull her back....

Some parts of this chain email ( chain emails; grrr!) had the girl in me shouting, " Yes! that's exactly what I need from him when I do that!" But the other side of me, I think that's the voice of reason or something with with similar wisdom thinks, " Wait a minute; how selfish is this girl who goes into a relationship with all these insecurities, but expects a  perfect man with no insecturities of his own?" That really got my mind working. I mean, when I read all the stuff that she does, I realise that I do those same things when I'm feeling insecure and the stuff that he does in reaction to them; that stuff is different forms of reassurance. It's like the girl in this scenario is a raging tornado of insecurity and low self esteem while the guy is expected to be the quiet, confident knight-in-shining-armour type that's come to fix you.

But that's unfair! We all have insecurities and fears about ourselves, don't we? So then shouldn't we be heroes to  each other? I mean there are things that I will expect and often need from my man one day, but I want him to need me too. I don't want a flat, perfect character of a man that is just there to give, give and give the whole time; I want to be needed too. I also want to be a knight in shining armour to my man ( I think I just threw up a bit of Stacie Elderidge's Captivating ! )  So as much as I would love a man who is as attentive to my needs as this chain email ( chain emails; grrr!) man is, I'd also like him to be less...."Prince Charming, the Flawless One" so that I can have some hero scenes to play out where I am the hero. I think that's a good selfish don't you?


  1. You are so right!! I think I have very "typical" female responses to men [unfortunately]. Eish, shame, poor man I marry one day :P

  2. I like your insight on this. Give and take means different things to people--either the idea should be that if you are in a bad place and someone is trying to take care of you, you should rally at least to show some consideration of that care. On the other hand, it doesn't imply that you would do that for your partner, too, if the roles were reversed, and that is equally important.

    Of course, 60 years ago, girls growing up were being instructed to do this, with or without care or reciprocation, for their to-be husbands. But, that's another matter entirely ;-).