Falling into Place

It has certainly been an eventful month! Since the moment I signed on the dotted line of my employment contract, I've been watching in awe as everything in my life fell perfectly into place.

I got a temporary place to stay until I found my feet. I can take two taxis to work without much hassles and if I get out of work late, I can get picked up at a nearby shopping centre and then, as though things could not possibly get better, I found a cottage that is near to my work and at a very affordable price. It's amazing- and freaky. It's just a lot to get used to. I spent so much of the past two years feeling as though I was trying to force a square peg in a round hole and when you do that for such a long time it convinces you that it will never work... until one day it just does! It just clicks into place and you have to change your thought pattern around again.

It's a little exhausting, but I'm trying really hard to sit back and enjoy the ride, make provision for freak accidents and basically just try not to gawk in amazement at how all of this has happened

Mother Hen

Having a huge family brings with it alot of  drama but also alot of perks! I have 2 family members that are home for the festive season from Gauteng and they so kindly offered to take some of my stuff with them when they drive back in January. Whether they offered to take my stuff with them or I nudged them in the right direction or I blatantly asked them, is a matter of opinion!

Anyway, my mom thought we should take advantage of such kindness and  so we set out  to fill a box with stuff we thought I'd need for my new abode. Initially, the thought was just to pack a dinner set and maybe some clothes to lighten my load when I travel up to  Joburg. But before I knew it,  my mom had me packing  small salad dishes, knives, forks, spoons,teaspons and tupperware that is allegedly as old as I am and, on top of that offered to buy me dish clothes and glasses to put in another box - because Joburg doesn't sell this stuff right?

The funny thing is,  when we were done taking all these 'tid bits' from my mom's endless collection of kitchenware, one could not see the difference; We had packed  so much, but so much was still left. I guess being a borderline hauder has its perks just as family does!

My Dreams - An Evaluation

There's nothing more satisfying than checking off things in your to-do list:

A better job- Check!

I finally found better work and am about to make the biggest move- Ever, I think! I'm looking forward to the challenge of balancing work and studies, but the good thing is that I will be studying about my work so every day I will get to see what I'm learning coming to life in the classroom - how exciting!

My own place - Pending

But this will soon be a check also! For now, I'll be staying with a friend until I can find my own little nest. There is one that I am viewing in about 2 weeks time; holding thumbs that I like it :)

A Car- Pending

I personally don't feel that I'm ready for a car, but many beg to differ.... time will tell...

It's so crazy to think that in just under 2 weeks one of my heart's desires is coming true. I never thought it possible for myself...

Rollercoaster

It's been such a crazy 11 days! over the past few days my world has been turned upsidedown, but in a good way.

It's true what they say; it is darkest just before dawn comes. I've heard this and many similar quotes countless times in a futile attempt to encourage me about my future and with the passing of time, I've been tempted to throw a chair at whoever would tell say such things to me. The thing is, I believed that God is a God of miracles and He will come through for us no matter how bleek the situation gets, but when you are in the middle of that bleekness, you don't want to hear theory, you want to see the theory materialise into something tangible. I was at that point; I knew and fathomed that joy comes in the morning, but more than that I wanted to see it. And did I see it!! Talk about the eleventh hour! Just when I had trully given up and given in, He answered my prayers and things are slowly falling into place. The light at the end of the tunnel is no longer an alligation but a  reality; I see it in the not too far distance..

Watch out world, here I come!

Act your age, not your shoe size

I've never been the kind of girl who is  ashamed of her age. If you ask me how old I am, I'll tell you without hesitating; I'm 25.I have started to notice though that I am, in a way ashamed of my age and I show it in  different areas.

When I think about my group of friends one thing stands out besides how different they all are; most of them are younger than me. Because of this I find myself thinking like them and very often emulating them. Here's an example; I started this new thing of dressing my jeans up with a nice pair of heals or something and often when some of my friends see me dressed like that, comments are passed about how dressed up I am which makes me feel embarressed about how overdressed I am. Now to kids my age, I'd imagine that this would be a perfectly acceptible way of dressing right? But I wouldn't know that because I don't hang out with kids my age..... hmmmm.

Something drastic needs to happen. Obviously my friendships are not tradeble so giving them up is not an option so what is a girl to do? I think there is much to say about owning who and what you are. Accepting that I am not thin for example, helps me to see the good in the body that I do have and helps me to enjoy my body more. I find that there is less pressure with younger people, because they feel they have more time on their hands ( so not true, but let's not burst their bubble). When I am around people my age one of the biggest things that is spoken about is marriage. I have no input in this subject matter because I don't even have a boyfriend let alone someone to marry. The next thing is climbing the career ladder and getting stuff. My career has bearly started and I've never been very materialistic  which pulls me up shot once again. In a nutshell, with kids my age, I am an amateur!

We were talking at cell once when one of the older guys mentioned that it's ok to want to the best for your life. It's not greedy to dream of owning an expensive car or beautiful home, those are the fruits of our hard work and these things are often necessary ( that thought is one for another blog!). I've often stopped myself from dreaming big because I've felt that I was being greedy, but without those dreams, how do we get out of the ruts we find ourselves in?

So, I guess I should start owning my age again; coming to terms with it  and adjusting my thought patterns around it. Not to apply pressure on myself  in terms of where I should be at my age, but so I can yearn for and go for something better in life thereby bettering myself :) Maybe this attitude adjustment is the beginning of great things.... we will soon find out...

What I've become

It is said that a man has 3 women in his life; The one he whose marriage material; the one whose his best friend and the one he just wants a 1 night stand with.

For many years I have been the best friend; the girl guys come to when they like your pretty friend? The one that's not so attractive but great to have around? That was always me. It was pretty cool for a while, before i got a bit tired of it. I still remember wishing I was as appealing as my one friend because, she was always "the hot one". Then came 2010 and I sort of got my wish. Now, when I look back, I realise how tiring it is to be viewed like that, because at the end of the day, you're not seen as someone with much depth. No one looks past the pretty face and well styled hair to the person inside.The crazy thing is though, the more of this attention I got, the more I wanted and pretty soon I had myself convinced that I can never be happy without it; It defined me. WHAT THE HELL?!! When did I become this person? I don't even know....

But you know what they say, the first step to recovery is admitting your problem so it's back to theroad to self discovery again. I want to again be that girl that did not depend on people's affirmation to be happy; she was great!  I really liked her...

Reunion letter

I have been exiled from the land of blogging for almost 3 weeks now and today was my day of release! hooray!

In the spirit of Alannis Morrisette's 'You Live You Learn' philosophy, here is what I have taken away from my time away from all you wonderful people whose lives have added colour to my world. A life without blogging is really not much of a life at all. There's nothing I enjoy more than stepping out of my mundane life and mind and stepping into another world that has smarter thoughts and gazes upon things of more beauty than I ever thought possible...

I have missed you terribly and I trust that we will never be seperated again...